Dear Z^^^,
I know that i m making u very irritating these few days... that why u asked me to stop all my nonsense... I m truly sorry and you never scolded me like this before, this is the first time and I guess is also the last time...Just wan to let u know that those msg that I wrote to you earlier are all my true feelings and thoughts except for the last one which "I congrats u"... I m seriously not picking on you or suspecting this or that.... I wrote this wrong msg cos I have gone crazy n chose the wrong method to face the truth. I know u dun love anymore, and I m dragging it cos I cannot accept the truth that u dun love me and leave me.
It's not easy for me... and I still love you and think of you everyday n whereever I go... when we r together, you made me feel that I m the most "xin fu" woman in this world. And I want to be by ur side and spend the rest of the life with you. Bcos I know u r not ready n stress, so i dare not tell u my thought to add burden to u by telling more things like what I want to stress u even more.
I only know that so long that we r together i feel contented n happy n be a simple woman behind ur back to support u. I m so silly, right? I have lost many things in life after u left me, i lost the most important person in my life and yes is you, i lost all my feelings, lost my laughter, lost my cheerful smile and misplaced my heart...i have lost confidence in myself, lost confidence in everything, have no faith in life...i have lost my courage to move on and lost the courage to face you again...i am so miserable and very sad.
U left me for a reason... And I can only blame myself for being so childish, naive, nv tell u my thought n kept everything to myself and keep quarrelling with you... Most importantly is that I dun know how to cherish you... and really is my misfortune not to have you.
Until u left me, I feel lost, empty n meaningless in life... I m so silly to understand now that I have not treat you well enough... My only regret in life is never treat u even better, nv cherish you, nv comunicate with you and tell u my thought n feeling... nv make you and ourself feel happy when we are together...
I really miss you, misses the days when we eat/shop in hk and holding ur hand when both of us r frighten by the turbulence, miss watching you playing ps3, miss ur smile, voice, laughter n serious look, miss ur creativity, passion in fashion n design, miss the days with you... I really miss you... I know u dun love me anymore but deep in my heart I still love you..... and always will...
Love you always, Carrie.
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